Everyone who is a mother has some form of advice to pass on to you as a new mother. Some of this advice is old, some new to you and then you get some advice that you already knew but in your moment of tiredness had forgotten for a second.
I love hearing words of encouragement apposed to words of advice. I am a different mother to everyone else and my experience is unique. If I need help/advice I will ask for it. And I might ask Dr Google or I might ask you.
I am part of a Facebook group for women who were due to give birth in July. This group has been invaluable to me. Both during my pregnancy and after the birth of Eva.
Advice, support and funny stories are shared on a daily basis and I feel like I have struck up a friendship with so many of the women, women I have not even met in 'real life'. These women are my go to ladies for advice. You get so many points of view but you don't get the pressure and you don't get the judgement.
There are a lot of first time mother on this page and one second time around Mum posted some words of encouragement and a lot of us Mums (both new and not so new) appreciated hearing it.
Here it is...
Just wanted to say that at this stage I think of our babes to still be in the 'fourth trimester' as in they are barely able to fathom why they are no longer in our nice warm tummies, why they now have to work for food rather than have it via a tube and why we, and the noise, keep disappearing when we put them down in bed.
I guess I wanted to reassure first time mums that they do feed constantly...for days. They might just doze on you between feeds. They might not settle in the bassinet because it's strange, doesn't smell like you and is quiet with no beating heart etc. They will change their routine as soon as you think it's sorted because they'll have a growth spurt, or their sleep cycles will extend or they'll learn to roll over.
If feeding to sleep works for you, do it! If putting them down asleep works, do it! If they sleep on you for four hours, then learn how to go to the loo using just one hand...hehe it's hard work! But just do what ever you have to do to stay sane, get your baby fed and you some sleep. Don't worry that you're teaching them bad habits or they'll never settle themselves. You won't and most babies aren't properly capable of self settling until much older. Or even if they self settle now at 6months it might go out the window and you'll have to try a new method.
Every baby is different and what works for you is the best thing to try. The feeding at this stage is mind bogglingly taxing but soon these early months will be a distant memory. I don't have the answers so feel free to ignore me but us mums are doing an awesome job, you're not doing anything wrong and many babies are just crying, spilling, feeding little beings at this stage. :
This made me feel better for the fact the only way I can get Eva to sleep is for her to fall asleep on me and then I ease her into her own bed. Something I wish could change, but she is only three weeks old (today) and it is something I am going to tackle in the coming weeks when she is not so little.
Another Mum shared the link to this blog,
And this also gave me encouragement in what I am doing. No advice given, it just made me feel like I am not a bad Mother and setting my child up to have bad habits later in life.
So advice; I take it with a grain of salt. I have become very good at nodding and smiling when advice is given when I don't really need it or agree with it (I think 40 weeks of pregnancy prepares you). I know who to ask if I do need help with anything and I know who not to ask. I know who is going to give practical advice and who is not. I also know that as a Mum I have to trust myself and my own ideas and my own gut, if I trust that I will never be let down.
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